Here's a good one. A friend of mine absolutely refuses to eat in any buffet restaurant. He flat
refuses. Wont go if you buy, wont go if you paid him to go. He says that buffets are nasty beyond
his ability to justify eating in one. Every time someone suggests hitting the old Super China
Things on Sticks Buffet, he says "coprophagia" and keeps walking. I looked it up. It is the term
Veterinarians use when a dog eats his own- you know. My buddy says that the buffet line is
a breeding ground for germs and other nasties. Folks grabbing at the rolls with doo-doo hands,
and so forth. Sneezers. Choking on the banana pudding, sans handkerchief. They all use the
required "sneeze guard" and then let a six year old belly up unattended. I get his point, and I
know now that Doctors do as well. A person I know recently had a liver transplant. Of all the
crazy things you have to do to stay healthy after this procedure, one of the rules is to stay
the duck sauce OUT of the buffet restaurants. That's all the proof I need. However, its not
enough to keep me out. No, I am a hard core fat ass, and it would take much more for me to
resist. Like most fatties, I am sure that I eat because of the taste of the food, as oppossed to actually being hungry. That being said, I made a discovery while doing the ten seconds of research I normally do before writing these blogs. I looked up "coprophagia" and was bombed with several brands of medicines designed to treat the problem. How do they work, you ask?
They work by making the dogs crap, taste like crap to the dog. Was that a haiku? Wow! If there is a drug that can make what you are eating taste like crap, why are all diet drugs made of speed? I mean, they are all stimulants that make you burn fat by racing the shit out of your heart rate. If I just popped a pill that, instead, would make a Big Mac taste like dook, why would I need to burn fat? I wouldn't even want one. I eat because I like the taste of the food I choose. I am seriously considering trying that pill. Just for a day, to see what happens. Then I will start working on my constant need to hump my couch pillows.
refuses. Wont go if you buy, wont go if you paid him to go. He says that buffets are nasty beyond
his ability to justify eating in one. Every time someone suggests hitting the old Super China
Things on Sticks Buffet, he says "coprophagia" and keeps walking. I looked it up. It is the term
Veterinarians use when a dog eats his own- you know. My buddy says that the buffet line is
a breeding ground for germs and other nasties. Folks grabbing at the rolls with doo-doo hands,
and so forth. Sneezers. Choking on the banana pudding, sans handkerchief. They all use the
required "sneeze guard" and then let a six year old belly up unattended. I get his point, and I
know now that Doctors do as well. A person I know recently had a liver transplant. Of all the
crazy things you have to do to stay healthy after this procedure, one of the rules is to stay
the duck sauce OUT of the buffet restaurants. That's all the proof I need. However, its not
enough to keep me out. No, I am a hard core fat ass, and it would take much more for me to
resist. Like most fatties, I am sure that I eat because of the taste of the food, as oppossed to actually being hungry. That being said, I made a discovery while doing the ten seconds of research I normally do before writing these blogs. I looked up "coprophagia" and was bombed with several brands of medicines designed to treat the problem. How do they work, you ask?
They work by making the dogs crap, taste like crap to the dog. Was that a haiku? Wow! If there is a drug that can make what you are eating taste like crap, why are all diet drugs made of speed? I mean, they are all stimulants that make you burn fat by racing the shit out of your heart rate. If I just popped a pill that, instead, would make a Big Mac taste like dook, why would I need to burn fat? I wouldn't even want one. I eat because I like the taste of the food I choose. I am seriously considering trying that pill. Just for a day, to see what happens. Then I will start working on my constant need to hump my couch pillows.
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