Too Far

I have seen crazy supplement and substitute pills before, but this takes the cake! For Gods sakes, just drink the damn wine!!! More to come-

Congratulations, your Fat!

Just a quick note here, I heard on the "news" this morning that someone is auctioning "Tony Soprano's" clothing from the show. A few lucky (and rich) people will be able to bid on the various items, from suits to bathrobes. Ewww. I can see it now, some fat, rich guy, getting his ass beat because he thought that wearing the suit would make him a bad-ass. Sad. It will just make you a fat guy, in another fat guy's clothing. Hey, who ate all tha gobba-goo??!!

Before and After

Ever lost a woman to a diet? I don't mean she overdosed on Zenadrene and died, I mean lost her fucking mind, and left your ass? It happens. I don't think its just a woman thing, but I have never seen it happen with a guy. The problem is, that woman cant just lose weight, and be happy about that. They have to change their entire life, over a few dress sizes. I think there are probably a lot of guy's around, with wives that maybe had a baby, blew up on the scale, and never came back. These dudes always give them crap for it, and get all giddy when they (the wife) finally decide to get on a program. The problem is, a lot of times the last few pounds they shed is your goofy ass. They suddenly have people all around them, telling them how beautiful they are, and how strong they must be to have done something so challenging. They have gone through an amazing metamorphosis, with new clothes, hair, habits, interests, etc., and there you are, sitting right where they left you. You look the same. You smell the same. You suck the same as you did when she was 260. You, Sir, are sweating to the Oldies, not her.

If she goes on a program you better get your ass up, and get brand new. Its the only way. Oh yeah, here's another little jewel on this subject; you are also at fault for letting her get that big. That's right- you were fine with her the way she was. Well, that's why it wont work now. You getting this? Pearls. And God help you if she is using ANY diet drugs along the way. They will add crazy/manic to the whole picture, and push all the unavoidable changes you have to suffer along even faster. Good luck!

Beware "The Wrench"

First of all, I have effectively beaten high cholesterol. I don't really know what "effectively" means, but I hear it all the time on the news. Anyhoo, I have kicked the shit out of cholesterol. I got that 427 (see last post) down to a wimpy 166. You don't even want to know the crap I had to eat to do it. When you have to steer around fast food restaurants for a while, they seem sparkling and new when you DO get back in one. Kind of like your first day out of prison. I was standing in a, well, they are so powerful that I'm afraid to say the name without license. Lets just say, it rhymes with "Nick-Na-Lay" and leave it at that. You see, this particular restaurant is known in the south as one of the highest order of the fast food product. They generally don't mess around, and when you place an order, you know it is right. Must be the extra rest they get by not being open on Sunday. Well, I have considered asking them how they go about the hiring process, strictly from a scientific standpoint. I have noticed for years that they always seem to get the best people in the business. Its like, they find people so good, they should NEVER be in fast food, but they are.

Its as though they go down to the local high school, pick the best looking, and hardest working kids, then hypnotise them. They convince them that placing the pickle on the bun is their higher calling, and viola! They got em. I mean, these folks know their shit. I was standing in one the other day, as I mentioned before, and saw an infiltrator among their ranks. I don't know how she got in there, but she was in. I could tell she was wearing a "wire" and was bent on destroying that perfect Nick-Na-Lay. You see, this toxic "drama-bot" is able to worm her way into any restaurant. They come in, speaking the lingo, and wiping tables down as they interview. The manager is weakened by the razzle-dazzle, and agrees to allowing to host the parasite without even realising what has transpired. The next thing you know, your perfect little joint is reduced to the bottom shelf of the industry. Your Nick-Na-Lay is now, a "Nardees". The cute little girls that used to smile at you every morning are now green with morning sickness, and pregnant as hell. The boys who used to hold contests to see who could lift the most sacks of french fries, and helped each other fill out their college applications at break time are now stuffing their pockets with anything not nailed down, and giving each other prison tattoos in the deep freezer. Mayhem. This person, this infection, I will call the "wrench". The living and breathing monkey wrench of destruction, hell bent on the fall of all industry. They just walk by your large Diet Coke, and it turns into a small "Mountain Pepper". It will not even have a name. Your double cheese turns to fish, and all the napkins come out of the bag. They hate you, and the negativity fills the air like onion ring steam. These people are sent from neighboring fast food places, like a virus. I wanted to ask the manager to come outside, and try to warn them, but the "wrench" had already spotted me. Make no mistake, if they catch you, they will kill you. Or worse, they will send one of the three "big hitters" for your ass, and you don't want that.

Next time you are in a fast food restaurant that is absolutely falling apart, for no apparent reason, see if you can spot the "wrench". But, be careful.