"I don't know why they call it Hamburger Helper, Clark, it does just fine on its own!"
I wonder how many Americans knew what the hell Cousin Eddie was talking about when he said that on the original "National Lampoon's Vacation" back in 83? I damn sure knew.
I have been down with the helper for as long as I can remember. That does not mean that I love it, it just means I have always been broke. Even during short times when things were "high cotton" around my place, there was always room for the four-fingered bastard to slip into a greasy pan on my stove. I have tried every one of the complex flavors that the helper is coming with these days. They all taste exactly the same- like the box they came in, add salt. If you disagree, then you are a rich jackass that probably does not even know how to turn your water back on after the man shuts it off for not paying the bill. I think what I'm trying to say is, the helper belongs to the poor.
The other day, I saw a funny commercial. It was a nice black family, talking about how much they love to eat some Hamburger Helper, and then just sit around the table and talk about all the exciting things they did that day. You know, how they went to work, or to look for work, then came home and prayed to Jesus that the lights were still on. Then, another commercial came on following that one (back to back, actually). It was a wealthy white family, sitting in front of a lap-top, trying to figure out how to manage their kid's cell phone minutes. As the parents were talking, the kid's were shown outside the window, washing the family's new Volvo while wearing Ipod's and squirting water on each other. I thought it was really cool. Lets not bullshit each other with who the helper serves. Betty-Crocker brands does not, and they never have. They serve folks like me, usually broke, usually hungry, willing to eat high quantity crap as long as it has some kind of cheese melted on it. That's me, and most people I know, and the kind of people I want to enjoy this blog. Besides, the Natural Light will carry most anything along. And if you don't know what Natural Light is, then get out of my blog, you rich jackass.
