God help me, it was for Charity.

I got invited to a charity luncheon today. Actually, I was taken to the lunch by my employer, and not so much "invited". It was nice. Several hundred people all together, eating, talking, having a nice break from work, while still technically at work. Now folks, you still don't know me that well, unless you DO know me, and you still like to read my crap. That's funny to me, because if you do know me, you get to endure my constant rambling anyway. Anyhoo- I was at the charity luncheon. I walked in, and saw all the games and raffle items that had been arranged. I tried to act like I wasn't straining to see what was on the menu. Luckily, someone else broke ranks and just headed on up there to the food line. I breathed a sigh of relief, and got my fat-ass in line as well. I stepped up to the table, and saw the bounty. Grilled chicken, slaw, beans, garlic bread, and all the appropriate sauces and what-not. I was pleased. Until I thrust out my plate, and was dished up the saddest little piece of dark meat chicken you have ever seen. It would have gave an Ethiopian the gas face. I kept my mouth shut, because I suddenly had a moment of clarity. Its a CHARITY LUNCH YOU IDIOT! They have spent the very least amount of money on the food and entertainment, to give more to the cause. There are, of course, very lavish charity events. These are usually for very rich people, and the organizers know that even if caviar is on the menu, they will still get back more for the cause than they spent on the party. Not for working folks. We get a paper plate, and a skinny chicken. I ate every microbe of the meal, and because I was with other guys who share my mindset and belt size, we drove straight to Wendy's. We hit the dollar menu, and rolled on some Biggie fries, chicken nuggets, and Jr. cheeseburgers. It was awesome. I felt bad for requiring two lunches, but good for not "hoggling" (my friends and I use that term for the act of eating beyond reason, it's not a real word, so I don't know how to spell it but it sounds like boggle-ing) down all the charity flakes. If your going to do something that others would call silly, or unnecessary, at least do it with buddies that will call it a great idea. Thanks for being there Wendy's, and thanks to my boys for going with me.